


No Other Version of Me

by sgteam14283



Series: Better Version of Me [4]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Consent, Dry Humping, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Frottage, Mentions of Past Sex Work, Morning Sex, Nonverbal Communication, Oral Sex, Partying, Sharing a Bed, Shower Sex, Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:13:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23256007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgteam14283/pseuds/sgteam14283
Summary: What happens on the Citadel, stays on the Citadel. For the most part.
Relationships: Female Ryder | Sara/James Vega
Series: Better Version of Me [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707859
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Having Fun

**Author's Note:**

> This one skips forwards a bit in terms of Vega and Ryder's timeline, but there's no missed information. Also Vega's initial conversation with Ryder is from the Citadel DLC if Shep wants to 'romance' him. Also this first chapter is Mature but the next will def be more NSFW.
> 
> Enjoy!

Everyone was ready for shore leave.

It had been a long month in Reaper territory and Vega knew that he’d like to let some of that energy out by dancing and drinking at Purgatory.

“Ready for some fun, Freckles?” Vega asked as he slid into Ryder’s field of view. They’d been skirting that line that was between teasing and flirting, something that Vega was finding hard to not cross. “Or are you going to be a downer again?”

“It’s not my fault I was still getting over a cold.” Anna smiled back at James’s ribbing, enjoying the back and forth they’d developed. But at the same time she tried to ignore the feeling in her stomach when he appeared. He was her CO and there were fraternization regs to think of; even if the Commander took a loose stance to inter-ship relationships. 

“I was just following doctor’s orders. Besides I thought you didn’t _fraternize._ ” she continued while standing and picking up the shotgun she’d been working on.

James straightened as Ryder made her way towards the weapon’s locker and watched with folded arms as she put the shotgun back and shut the cage doors. “Just because I don’t fraternize doesn’t mean I don’t like to enjoy myself. If the mood strikes there are some fun things we can do. Do you want to have some _fun_ tonight Ryder?”

Anna paused at the statement; they’d been flirting since her first mission in Asari space. Or at least she thought they’d been flirting. This wouldn’t be the first time that she’d misread signals.

Straightening and closing the locker, Ryder turned around and gave Vega a smile, “If you must know yes, I’m ready to have some fun. But only if you buy me a drink.”

“That a promise?”

“Maybe.” Anna hoped she could get into the showers before everyone else so she didn’t smell like gun lubricant and metal shavings the entire night. Then her omni-tool buzzed and she frowned at the sender; it was from the place where she stored her stuff on the Citadel. Opening it up the frown deepened and she realized her evening at Purgatory would be delayed. 

–  
Purgatory had always been a go-to for those in the Alliance on shore leave, but since the Reaper War had started it seemed to be the only place that people went to forget what was going on outside the station’s walls.

James’s plan was to catch Ryder before she left the ship to head to the club together, but she’d finished before him and disappeared into the flow of crew exiting the ship. 

“ _It’s early._ ” he thought while making his way up to the bar and catching the eye of one of the bartenders and ordered a shot of tequila.

Another drink later, he’d started to wonder if he’d been reading too much into everything when he heard, “You started without me?”

Glancing over his arm he saw Anna giving him a mischievous smile, “Couldn’t find you.”

“I had to go to my storage unit and get some stuff.” Anna waved one of the bartenders over, leaning over the bar so she could order six shots when they neared.

His eyes tracked down as she leaned forwards and her shirt inched up, exposing a patch of her back. Focusing on the strip of warm amber colored skin he continued, “What kind of stuff?”

“Just stuff.”

Before he could ask about it further, James watched Ryder down the drinks in quick succession and laugh as she set the last shot glass upside down. 

Anna looked and saw the surprise on Vega’s face. “Biotic remember? Let’s get out on the dance floor.”

Anna grabbed his hand before he could respond and led him down the stairs to the middle level where everyone was dancing. Humans and aliens surrounded them and for a second James just watched Anna dance; the way she was poured into those synthleather pants, how she probably wasn’t wearing anything other than a bra under her see through shirt, and her hair was out of the regulation bun.

Anna turned to see James staring and felt her catch a little. The color changing lights flashed over them both and she couldn't help but notice the appreciation as his eyes roved over her. She was used to those kinds of looks, being one of the few women in her Red gang meant that she'd dealt with using her body as both an asset and a liability. But with James it felt...different. She didn’t know if it was the alcohol or their earlier conversation echoing in her mind, but whatever it was she pushed it aside and slipped on the bravado that had served her well while with the Reds. Moving to the beat, she closed the space between them slightly more while smiling, “See something you like?”

“I do.”

“Good.”

Ryder lost track of time after that, music filling her ears and the drinks blurring together; James buying most of the rounds. As one song bled into another she found herself moving even closer to him, placing her arms on his shoulders as he slid his hands from her hips to her back and into her pants pockets. Inhaling deeply at the move, she closed her eyes and just kept herself in the moment before standing on the tops of her shoes to say over the music, “I’m going to get more to drink. Want anything?”

“Surprise me.” Vega watched Anna weave through the crowd and up the stairs towards the bar. Deciding to take a breather himself, he spotted Joker at a table and wandered over. 

“Where’s EDI?” he asked once he was near enough. “Normally you two are attached at the hip in here.”

“Traynor and the Commander are with her somewhere. I think they want to have someone to hold their spot in the bathroom line.” Joker replied, waving his hand towards the mob of people currently out on the dance floor. “You and Ryder were looking pretty cozy out there. I’m surprised you haven’t been kicked out for indecent displays of affection.”

“We’re just blowing off steam.” Vega replied, wondering what Joker was going for. Plenty of the crew had fun together while on shore leave, the war was taking a toll on all of them and shore leave was a chance to get it all out so they didn’t make mistakes on missions. There was an silent understanding that whatever happened while on shore leave, stayed there.

“There must be a lot pent up because last time I saw people that close it was on an extranet vid before the really inappropriate part.” Joker replied with a ‘that’s bullshit and you know it’ look.

Vega opened his mouth to tell Joker to mind his own business for once, but before he could Anna appeared with her hands full of shot glasses. 

“Two for you and the rest for me.” Anna smiled as she set them on the table and noticed James wasn’t alone. “Oh, hey Joker.” 

“Ryder.” 

James knocked back the shots, feeling the alcohol burn down his throat, and took Anna’s hand to head back to the dance floor while ignoring Joker’s stare.

Anna barely had enough time to grab her last shot as she was dragged back to the mass of people dancing. Once they were far enough away from Joker though, he let go of her hand and she emptied the glass before setting it on a passing tray. 

“Everything okay?”

“Joker’s just being his obnoxious self.” James looked at Anna and felt warmth spread through his stomach. “You want to go somewhere a little more private?”

“Yeah?” Anna looked up at him, giving him an out even though he was the one to ask. 

She didn’t mind the flirting and the way they were dancing. But at the same time she’d noticed the looks she’d been getting from some of the other Alliance soldiers that were here and knew that if James backed out she wouldn’t have a problem finding company.

James nodded and placed his hands on her hips before gently pulling Anna closer to him, “I’m pretty sure the Commander and everyone are out of the apartment for a few more hours.” 

“A few hours? You’re awfully confident.” Anna gave him a wink before moving through the crowd. Not looking back until she reached the entrance, she was glad that he'd followed. Dashing to one of the last skycars that were lined up, they laughed while stumbling against each other. She sat down heavily while Vega punched in the Strip and bit her lip as her vision wavered slightly. " _Those last drink must have done the trick._ "

The energy from the club drained away as the skycar moved smoothly into the never ending stream of Citadel traffic and Vega threw an arm behind her as he settled next to her but still left her plenty of room if she wanted it. Feeling her stomach tighten with what she could only assume were nerves, Anna wasn't sure why she was suddenly feeling this way.

" _This isn't my first time going home with someone after dancing at a Citadel club. Why am I feeling this way?_ " she told herself while tucking back her hair behind her ears, the movement more to steady herself than to clear her field of vision. " _Maybe because...I don't want to screw this up? He is one of the few people to actually befriend me on the ship. And I don't want to lose that._ "

Taking a breath, she shifted closer to Vega and turned so she was looking at him. She saw him do the same and he leaned towards her, hesitating to ask a silent question.

Anna nodded her head and he captured her mouth in a kiss. His hands skimmed down her sides and curled around her waist, the synthleather of the cab seats groaning as they both moved until Anna was practically on top of James

The ride back to the Commander’s place was over before it felt like it’d started, passing in a blur of kisses and hands exploring. She didn’t want to leave the skycar, but when the automated system chimed for the second time she reluctantly pulled back and said, “I’m pretty sure if we don’t leave they’re gonna start charging extra.” 

“You could be right.”

Awkwardly getting out, Anna let the world right itself for a second before walking towards the condo complex. As she reached the first set of doors, she felt Vega’s hand slip around her waist and didn’t move it. The ride up to the condo was quick and stepping into Shepard’s place they were greeted with silence, indicating that everyone was still out. Taking off her heels, she gathered them in one hand and headed towards the bar for a nightcap.

“You’ve been quiet.” Vega said he followed Ryder and leaned against the stone fireplace, folding his arms across his chest.

Anna considered her response as she set her heels on the floor next to the bar and started looking for the decanter of bourbon that she’d spotted the last time here, pouring herself a hefty measure once she'd located it and a glass. “I guess I’m just nervous.”

“You, nervous? Why?”

Anna took a sip of bourbon as she watched James make his way towards her. “ ‘cause we work together, you’re my CO, and...I like you. I don’t want whatever this is to ruin one of the few friendships I have on the Normandy.”

James watched Anna absently fidget with the glass and placed his hands over hers so she’d have to look at him. “Freckles, we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. And I like you too. I wouldn’t have suggested we leave Purgatory if I didn’t.”

“That’s good to know.” Anna leaned over the wooden bar to give James a searing kiss.

Breaking it only because they needed to breathe, she felt her face flush from want. "I want you." she said after knocking back the rest of the bourbon and setting the glass down before taking James’s hand, gently tugging him away from his seat and up the stairs. 

Once they reached the top Vega drew her closer to him, pushing her hair back and placing a kiss on her neck. Working his way up to her jawline, he moved them towards the wall and pressed himself against her. Anna stared at James as he gave her another heavy kiss on her lips, feeling the jolt of electricity move down her body as his teeth gently pulled on her bottom lip. Closing her eyes she felt the pressure between her legs intensify as she opened her mouth and let his tongue in.

James felt himself grow hard while running his hands down towards Anna’s legs. Circling her thighs, he pulled them off the floor and shifted his weight to support her while still pinning her against the wall. She automatically wrapped her legs around his hips and put her arms around his neck. He continued peppering kisses along her neck and throat, alternating with gentle scrapes of his teeth and relishing the small noises he was getting from her. His fingers found the hem of her shirt and played with it for a moment before delving underneath, drawing a ticklish laugh from Ryder. 

" _I'll have to remember if there's a next time._ " James told himself while smiling himself. Pausing to catch his breath he asked, “Which room?”

“First one on the right.” Anna replied, pressing her forehead against his and stifling another laugh as he moved them away from the wall and hoisted her up higher on his hips. She felt his length brush against her core and inhaled sharply at the sensation, not realizing how turned on she was until then. One last kiss and Vega started to walk in the direction she'd indicated. 

The door opened easily enough but James was too distracted to fumble around for the light panel so he just continued into the room, the layout was standard so he could rely on memory. What he hadn’t counted on was colliding into boxes, catching his foot on one and going down. Twisting so he didn’t land his entire weight on Ryder, they hit the floor with a muffled thump.

“Damn it. Sorry, I forgot these were here.” Anna said as she rubbed the spot on her back that had caught a corner. Scrambling up, she hit the light panel on the wall and blinked rapidly to adjust her eyes. 

As his eyes adjusted, Vega sat up and raised an eyebrow at the stacks of moving boxes that littered the room. “You moving in?”

“Not really. Well...sort of? I have to ask the Commander if I can store some stuff here.” Anna carefully picked her way across the floor and to the bed, sitting down on the edge. “You know that message I got when we were almost at the Citadel?" James nodded and she continued, "It was the storage place I rent from saying that it's closing and I had to clear out my unit. I tried to talk to the volus who owned it, see if I could just keep everything there until I found another place, but they threatened to throw it all out if I did. So I just...moved it here. That's why I was late. Honestly though, I could care less about my stuff. I don’t have a lot, but there are things from my mom I don’t want to lose.”

Vega saw a sad look ghost across Anna's face as he moved to sit next to her. “You miss her.” 

“Yeah.” Anna laughed, quickly brushing away the tears that appeared. “Nothing like talking about my problems to kill the mood. Or dead family.”

Vega let out a slight laugh and put a hand on her shoulder, “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think I'm in the best state to be doing anything because there are two of you right now."

"And if I'm honest everything's a bit wobbly. That bourbon was the good stuff." Anna nodded, almost regretting the action as the room spun and she set a hand down on the bed to keep from tipping over. Once everything righted itself, she glanced at Vega, “Do you mind staying? I...don’t feel like being alone right now.”

“Sure.” Vega moved fully on the bed as Ryder got up and carefully walked across the room to turn off the light. He took of his shirt and threw it to the ground but kept his pants on, even if he wanted to get rid of those as well. Rustling and the sound of more clothing hitting the floor told him that Anna was doing the same and he tried not to think of what she was removing.

Taking a breath he lay down on his side, his back towards Ryder. Stifling a sudden yawn, he felt the bed move as Anna got back on it and settled next to him. Closing his eyes, he felt himself start to relax and soon he was out.


	2. Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After partying at Purgatory, Vega and Ryder are ready for more "fun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Start of the NSFW chapters! ~~although honestly our homes are our offices now so w/e as long as you don't read this while logged-in to your work account~~ I'm going to be honest and smut isn't something I normally don't write, but I'm trying to get better at it so...sorry if this is kind of bad. Also! Contains adults being open with their sex lives because communication is the best. Enjoy!

Anna felt pleasantly warm and opening her eyes saw that sometime during the night, they had shifted closer to each other and Vega had an arm draped across her hip. Letting a sleepy smile appear, she enjoyed the feeling of his warmth against her skin. She could have fallen back asleep, but really needed to brush her teeth and get rid of the slight headache that was starting at the back of her head.

Slowly slipping from underneath the covers she grabbed the nearest item of clothing on the floor, realizing too late that it was James’s shirt. It almost swamped her, slipping off one shoulder and falling just below her knees. Padding over to the dresser next to the door, she quietly opened the top drawer and pulled out a condom. Then she tip-toed towards the bathroom and set the condom on the counter. Sighing a little as she took off her bra, she let it drop to the floor before taking off her underwear and then turning on the faucet. The cold water felt good on her face and she quickly removed what make-up was left from last night.

“So we’ve jumped to stealing each other's clothes?”

Anna straightened up, looking in the mirror to see Vega leaning against the doorframe. “What can I say? It looks good on me.” she replied while setting the washcloth down and turning off the water, trying not to stare at the fact that he was only in his underwear. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t.” James replied as he ran his gaze over her figure, taking in how her legs disappeared into his shirt and the bare shoulder displayed a colorful tattoo across it. Pushing off the frame, he walked towards Anna and stood close enough to her that he could wrap his arms around her, but still giving her space in case she didn’t want to continue where they left off last night. “We never did get to have any fun last night.” 

Anna smiled as she turned around to see James’s wonderfully muscled chest filling her vision, but not crowding her. “True. I have some ideas as to how we can make up for that.”

“So do I.” James took half a step towards Anna and when she didn’t back down took another while placing his hands on her hips to guide her back.

Anna’s heart was in her throat when her back bumped against the cold porcelain of the counter, but she didn’t break eye contact with James. His hands gripped the fabric of the shirt and pulled her close to him for a kiss. It was hungry and warm and she felt a jolt in her stomach while opening her mouth to let his tongue in. Eventually he broke the kiss and her world stopped spinning.

“Is-is that all?” she managed to get out eventually. 

James smiled and shook his head, “There’s definitely more.” 

Anna smiled as well, “I like that. But, I want to tell you something.”

“Hm?” James asked before pressing a light kiss on her jaw, gently scraping his teeth across her skin.

Anna felt her face heat up, not sure why this was hard for her to say, even though she was always upfront with her partners. She reached for her omni-tool and pulled up the display to scroll to her test results. “I’m clean. I got tested a few weeks before I joined the Normandy.”

James slowly nodded, glancing over the tests that the clinic she’d gone to ran, “So am I.” He opened up his own omni-tool and showed her his own results.

Anna let out the breath she hadn’t been aware that she’d been holding, she’d been worried that James would judge her for being up front with him and relieved that he hadn’t. She then placed her hands on James’s upper arms, giving them a light squeeze, “Okay, good. That’s good.” 

Standing on her tip-toes she gave him a quick kiss on the lips, “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, want to show me what else you were thinking about doing?”

“I think I can.” James pulled his shirt off Anna, letting it fall to the floor and cupped the side of her face with a hand. He just stood there for a second, admiring her naked form, the multi-colored tattoo on her shoulder standing out against her warm-toned skin and the various scars that he guessed had stories attached. 

But none of that mattered at the moment, he wanted to take her against the sink but also knew he didn’t want a quick screw. So he opened the shower door and turned on the water before stripping off his boxers and stepping in.

Anna stepped in behind him and pressed a quick kiss to one of his tattoos, lightly outlining the edge with her fingers.

Turning around James let the cold spray of water hit his back for a few seconds, then he grabbed Anna’s waist and turned so she’s underneath the water.

Letting out a surprised yell, Anna laughed while flicking water towards James, “You did that on purpose.” 

“Maybe I did.” James leaned down to give her another hungry kiss, brushing his erection against her stomach and peppering kisses along her jaw, then down her neck.

Anna closed her eyes as James moved his hands up to palm her breasts, before starting to play with them. The water had warmed up by then and she closed her eyes as he traced patterns across her tattoo with his tongue while his right hand started to tease her nipple and his knee brushed against her core, her breath hitching at how good that felt already. 

James finished with her breast and looked up, realizing how the water had made Ryder’s hair look an even darker shade of russet with water droplets slowly making their way from her shoulder on down. Then he started to lick and nip his way down the middle of her body, pausing only to get on his knees and hook a leg over his shoulder. Settling himself, he ghosted a breath across her curls and relished the whimper he got in return, her heel pressing against his back. 

“ _James._ ” Anna whined as he chose to tease her further and kiss his way down her inner thigh. She felt like James was being an absolute bastard and it turned her on more and made her frustrated at the same time. “C’mon…”

“Patience.” That was all he said before he shifted so he was closer to her and dragged her tounge across her slit. Anna bit down on her lips as he slid his tongue inside of her and pressed it against her clit, putting her hand against the glass for balance.

James pulled back and smiled, “Damn Freckles, you’re ready.” 

“That’s only because someone’s a goddamn tease.” 

“Oh so, you want me to tease you?”

“No, I want you to make me come.”

“Well then…” James could see that she was more relaxed, the tension from earlier gone, and went back inside of her. He could tease her some more, but she was already digging her heel into his back, so he just continued to lap her up, pressing his tongue against her clit and his dick straining with all the noises that she’s making.

Anna pressed hard against the glass, each movement that James makes pushing her closer to the edge. “ _There._ ” she grabbed his hair to hold him in that spot. Her breathing increased and she felt herself tightening more and more until...her hips jerked up and she went over the edge; arching her back and trying to breath through the rush in her ears and her world narrowing. She felt James continuing to lick her through and gradually everything settled back to where it was before. 

Leaning her head against the shower wall while opening her eyes saw James lowering her leg before standing. “You good?”

“Aren’t I supposed to be the one asking you that?” James asked before going in for another deep kiss, letting Ryder taste herself. Her tongue ran across his lip and entered his mouth, he was fine with letting her take the lead for now. But he needed to be inside her, hear her begging for another release. “Freckles…” 

“Hm?” 

“You got any condoms?” 

Anna paused for a second before nodding her head, “Yeah, on the-on the counter. I’ll grab it.”

The cool air was nice against her heated skin and she leaned across the gap to grab the condom, carefully tearing off the foil. Holding it by two fingers, she got back in the shower and gave James a mischievous smile.

James raised an eyebrow, “Freckles?”

“Just wait.” Anna gently unrolled the tip and fit it in her mouth. Getting to her knees she glanced up at James and then took him in her mouth, slowly unrolling the condom with her tongue. 

James closed his eyes at the sensations, letting out a low groan as she moved down further and further. Threading a hand through her hair, he gently directed her up and down when she was done. The friction of her teeth against the condom was almost enough for him, but he wanted to feel all of her around him, so he let go of her hair while saying in a husky voice, “Anna.”

Anna glanced up and paused, seeing the concentration in his eyes and smiled, “Want me to do more?”

James felt his stomach jolt with just the thought of what more she could do but pushed it to the back of his mind, he had a feeling there’d be more opportunities to find out. “Not now.” 

“Oh?” Anna gave one more lick along his length before standing close to him, “Then what do you want?”

“This.” James pushed her against the glass while nudging her legs apart with his knee, wrapping one around his hip before plunging himself into her. They both let out low moans and he paused for a second, letting both of them adjust. Pressing his free hand against the glass, he started to slowly move. “How’s that?” he whispered over the sound of water falling.

“G-good.” Anna replied, angling her hips so he could get better access. Closing her eyes, their heavy breaths mingled together and she lost herself in the sound of water mixing with their skin slapping together. 

Shifting her weight slightly, she took a hand off the wall and delved a finger inside of her, arching when she pressed against her clit and sent a shot of lightning through her body. Adding another finger, she moved them in time with James, already feeling herself started to move towards the edge again. She felt him increase his pace, hitting her core harder and harder. Then she came again, a high cry escaping her lips and her body arching against the waves, James still fucking her through it as well.

As the world rightened itself again, Anna realized that somewhere along the line he slipped into Spanish; saying how long he’s wanted to do this, how so fucking great she looks while coming, how the water hits her just right. 

Breath stuttering she can’t help but smile, wondering if he knows that she can understand him. “ _Probably not._ ” she thought once she could form sentences again. “ _But I can only tell him once that I know Spanish._ ”

Opening her eyes, she leaned forwards to give him a deep kiss while moving her body with his. His hitched breaths tell her that he’s close and Anna gently bit his shoulder, hoping to leave a mark where no one but her would know is there. Then a few more thrusts and he comes; she felt him pulsing within her and it almost wanted her to try and come a third time. Anna gave him one last kiss as he slipped out of her and for a moment they just look at each other, not sure what to say. 

“Be right back.” James awkwardly shuffled around Ryder, stepping out of the shower and peeling off the condom before he got too soft. Getting rid of it, he steped back in and placed a chaste kiss on the top of her head. “Need anything?”

“I’m good. You?” 

“Just a rise.” 

“Yeah.” Anna reached for the bar of soap and held it under the water until it started to lather. Sudsing her hands, she passed it to James while running the soap over her body then letting the water wash it away. “That was a good way to blow off steam.” 

“It was. And I wouldn’t be opposed to having it happen again. When we’re on shore leave that is.”

Anna tilted her head up and let the water hit her face for a moment, “That sounds like a good idea. Besides, I’m not looking for anything concrete.”

“Neither am I.” 

Anna turned to face James and gave him a smile, “Glad we can talk about this like adults. Normally it’s a whole thing and I don’t need the extra drama.” 

James returned the smile, “Same here.”


	3. Past History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryder's past on the Citadel catches up with her in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another NSFW chapter! Also contains talk about past sex work, nothing graphic but still mentioned/discussed.

Anna walked down one of the functional strips of Zakarian Ward and felt at home. While on the Citadel, she’d spent most of her time in what was left of the human-centered ward and enjoyed the hustle and bustle of the different shops and bars. Back for another shore leave after a few months in Reaper space, she wanted to do more than just party at Purgatory and get screwed by James Vega.

Even if both those things were great to do.

She’d even dug through her boxes and pulled out a few things, the clothes fitting better now that she was getting regular meals. Wearing her favorite pink shirt that hugged her curves, pants that made her ass look great, calf-high boots, and her usual leather jacket, Anna felt more confident than she’d been in a long time. “ _I even spent time on my hair for the first time in who knows how long._ ” she thought, rounding the corner and seeing that her favorite bar was still in business. 

Slipping through the crowd that had formed as the night cycle started, Anna wound her way towards the bar. “What’s good today?” she asked the bartender while glancing up at the throwback chalkboard that looked like it hadn’t changed specials since she was last here.

“For you? Anything, Ryder.” 

The familiar voice drew Anna’s attention towards it, “Zev! I’m not surprised you’re still here.”

“Hell Ryder, I’m just glad to see you breathing.” Zev said as he placed his hands on the throwback wooden bar and looked at the woman in front of him. “Last time I had my doubts. I thought I heard something about your friends getting picked up by C-Sec and Sage finally getting what he deserved.”

“What you heard was right, although I had a run in with someone afterwards who wasn’t that happy about getting arrested. It’s a long story.”

“One that you’ll share right?”

“When this is all over, trust me. I’m just on the Citadel for a few days though and wanted to see if this place was still standing.”

Zev noticed that Ryder was hedging around what she was doing now and wanted to ask but knew that the woman would tell him when she was ready. “As you can see, not even an attack by a human terrorist organization can take this place down. Now what do you want?”

“Got any Mount Milgram left?”

“Starting on the good stuff early. Be right up.” 

“You’re the best.” Anna shot Zev a smile as he went to get the whiskey that she preferred and idly drummed her fingers against the worn wood. It had been awhile since she’d been at the bar and was surprised at how little had changed.

“Buy you a drink?”

Anna turned her head to turn the guy down, but stopped when she saw that it was Vega. Tilting her head sideways she asked instead, “Depends, what do you get out of it?”

“Well I get to buy you a drink. And maybe you can come back to my place.”

“This guy bothering you?” Zev asked as he set the glass of whiskey on the bartop and stared at James.

Ryder hesitated for second, wondering if she should haze James but then thought better of it. Shaking her head she took the glass, “Nope. James is someone I work with. James this is Zev, he owns this place and is a decent player at poker.”

“Says the card shark.” Zev said as he exchanged a nod with James. “She’ll let you bet your own shirt and win it before you know what happened.”

“I know that too well.” James smiled, recalling the first and almost last time Ryder had joined him, Esteban, Joker, and L2 for the ‘whenever we can find time’ poker game. He _had_ lost his shirt at the end of it.

“Want me to pick up your drink?” he offered as Zev went to help someone else. 

“That’s okay, I plan on having some fun tonight.” Anna smiled before taking a sip. She felt like drinking and with her biotic metabolism it could be a few before she hit her stride.

After that the conversation and drinks didn’t stop, but the Normandy had just landed on the Citadel and so Ryder was feeling it. Setting her glass down, she shifted closer to James as he slid a hand across her waist.

“You want to go back to the Commander's place?” James asked in a low tone while brushing his nose across Ryder’s hair, the strawberry and mint smell nice after not being around it for so long. They kept their agreement of ‘friends with benefits’ while on the Citadel but that didn’t stop him from fantasizing about Ryder when he was supposed to be sleeping. He wanted his hands around her bare skin and to see her face flush with pleasure again.

“I like the sound of that. Let’s get out of here.” Anna opened her omni-tool to pay off her tab and hopped down from the seat. 

They’d only made it a few steps out of the bar when James paused, “I left my jacket in there. I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be here waiting.” Anna idly wandered down the strip, heading towards the wall to lean against while she waited for him. Pushing her hair back, she wondered what else was still up and running in this part of Zakarian.

“Ryder?”

Anna looked up at the question and saw a woman with dirty blond hair styled into curls and wearing a dark blue shirt that artfully showed one shoulder with shorts over fishnet tights and black leather stiletto boots. “Yes?” she asked knowing the face and outfit looked familiar but the name escaped her.

“It’s Abby.”

“Oh my God, I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you!” Anna broke into a grin while pushing off the wall to give Abby a hug. “It’s been awhile.”

“Four months more like it.” Abby said after the hug ended. “I heard what happened with Ash and then when I didn’t see you I thought you’d left the station or...well it’s nice to see you’re still alive.”

“Same here. Are you still working or…”

Abby nodded her head, “Me and a bunch of girls are at Chora’s. It’s not like it used to be but it’s better than nothing. What about you? Are you still-”

“No.” Anna shook her head as she interrupted. “I mean I’m working but not what I used to do. I’m back in the Alliance.”

Abby took a breath to ask another question when she heard, “You ladies working tonight?” 

Looking over she saw two human men were nearing and straightened while flashing a smile, “Of course! Walk with me and we can discuss rates.” She took the arm of one and walked off with him.

Anna watched Abby walk away and started to leave herself when she heard, “How much?”

Turning towards the voice she saw the other human still nearby. Raising an eyebrow she asked, “Sorry?”

“What’s your rate? How many credits?”

It took a second for Anna to realize what he meant and felt her face heat up with embarrassment and frustration. He assumed that because she was talking with Abby she was one as well. Straightening up she cleared her throat, “Sorry, I don’t do that anymore.”

“C’mon-” the man grabbed her arm as she tried to walk away.

“Hey, take your hands off me.” Anna tried to pull her arm out of his grip but he only tightened it. She really didn’t want to take someone down in the semi-crowded area, but she would if he didn’t back off.

“Listen bitch-”

“Is there a problem?” James frowned as he walked up, trying to figure out what was going on. 

“No.” Anna said through gritted teeth, finally being able to free her arm.

“Yeah, maybe you can tell your girl that she should take the hire.”

“My girl?”

“Just ignore him, let’s go.” Anna turned to fully face James, she was willing to just put the whole incident to the back of her mind and get railed enough to hopefully forget it even happened.

“No, he can’t talk to you like that.” James shot back, taking a half-step towards the guy.

“Bullshit, she was with the girl my friend went with. I know what she does.”

“Listen-James!” Anna put her hand on James’s arm, trying to keep him from doing something stupid. But he just lunged for the man and she let out a shout, “Hey!”

\--  


“I can’t believe you punched him like that.” Anna said as she lay flat on the bench in a C-Sec holding cell, one arm draped over her eyes while the other one rested across her stomach. “He didn’t even do anything.” 

“He called you a hooker, what was I supposed to do?” James asked from his spot by the kinetic field.

Anna raised the arm over her eyes and opened them to look at James, not sure if she should tell him, but decided not to. “ _Yeah, not going to volunteer the information._ ” she thought while laying her head back down and closing her eyes again.

“Whatever. We’re going to be here awhile so I’m just going to try and get some rest.”

“Ryder?”

“Hm?”

“Why-”

“It’s been awhile since you’ve been in here, Ryder.” A turian said as he walked towards the holding cell, crossing his arms in front of him. “Thought you’d finally left the station.”

Anna peaked an eye open and broke into a smile when she saw who the sub-harmonics belonged to. Sitting up, she stood and walked over to the front of the cell, “Rix. What can I say, I have to make sure that C-Sec has something else to do besides baby-sit diplomats.”

James watched the two banter back and forth and wondered, not for the first time, how much trouble Ryder had gotten into before joining the Normandy. He knew that she was with the Reds, and that whatever they’d been doing on the Citadel had made her want to leave. Shepard had taken him when she went to confront the gang which is how he knew there was bad blood between Ryder and the leader, but after that she hadn’t been that forthcoming with details about her life after the Alliance. 

“-same cell as your...companion.” The last bit of conversation caught his attention, and seeing Ryder’s face heat up made him straighten. 

“He’s not-he’s a coworker. We were having some drinks and some asshole made a mistake.” Anna said while avoiding James and Rix’s gazes. She just wanted this evening to end and then pretend it never happened.

“Then why do you have you on a prostitution charge?”

“Because C-Sec jumps to conclusions.” Rose Shepard said as she walked in, and didn’t look happy about it. “Really, you’d think that they’d believe members of my crew when they said they were just out for drinks and it was the other guys fault.”

Anna could see that the Commander was still in party clothes; a close fitting shirt, tight pants, and heeled boots, and wondered if she’d come straight from Purgatory or had let them sit for awhile. 

“Sorry Commander, I didn’t-” 

“I was told that they’d be let go when I arrived.” 

Rix nodded, “Let me double-check Commander.”

As soon as the turian left to check on the status of their discharge James said, “Commander thank-”

“Not here, Lieutenant.” Rose said with her ‘Commanding Officer’ voice. “When we get back to the Normandy.”

“Yes ma’am.” James nodded while Anna didn’t say anything. They stood in silence until the field fizzled out and Rix appeared.

“They’re free to go, no charges pending Commander.” 

“Thank you.”

The shuttle ride to the docking bay was quiet and as the three of them walked through the airlock, Anna wondered if this was the last straw for the Commander. She’d tried to stay out of as much trouble as she could, but it seemed to just follow her.

Rose waited until they were in the make-shift conference room, she didn’t want the rumor mill on the ship getting any more ideas about Vega and Ryder. “ _Because it’s a small ship and hard to keep anything a secret._ ” she thought, knowing that her relationship with Kaidan was well known. Even if they did take pains to remain professional while on the main decks and on-shift.

“I was in the middle of enjoying the start of shore leave when I got an interesting call from Traynor.” Shepard started with little preamble. “She’d gotten a message from C-Sec that two of my crew members had been arrested and were being charged with prostitution and assault.”

“It was a misunderstanding, Commander.” James said stiffly, wondering why Ryder wasn’t speaking up for herself. 

“I know that, but _why_?” Rose let the silence hang for a few minutes before letting out a sigh. “Since neither of you seem to want to explain...for the rest of shore leave both of you are confined to the Normandy.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Yes Commander.” 

“Good. Dismissed.” Anna turned to go back to her bunk and hoped that tomorrow would be a better day, when Shepard said, “Ryder, a minute.”

James wondered what Shepard wanted to talk to Ryder about but knew that it wasn’t meant for his ears. So he headed down to the shuttle deck to try and sort everything out so he could fall asleep.

\--  
Anna thought she’d hate being stuck on the Normandy while everyone was off, but after that first night...she kind of liked it. 

She didn’t have to wait in line to use the washroom, she got hot water for her shower, still got to sleep in, and she didn’t have to worry about anyone swiping her stack of magazines if she left them out. The Commander said her and Vega didn’t have to suffer with food from the commissary, so she grabbed stuff from street vendors and then headed back to the ship. Having the commissary almost to herself was a nice change from the elbow-to-elbow room meal times usually were. She also decided to take the opportunity and do laundry while everyone else was gone. 

Shoving her uniforms, regular clothes, and other things into the giant washer, she almost felt guilty for not having enough to fill it. “ _But at the same time someone else isn’t going to get my stuff and I get someone else’s._ ” she thought, closing the door and pressing the settings. 

Hopping onto one of the dryers, she picked up a magazine she’d gotten when they first docked and opened it.

“For being one of the few people on this ship, you’re hard to track down.”

Anna tensed at hearing the voice, subtly tightening her grip on the magazine while looking towards the door. James was standing just inside the room, hands behind his back and as nonchalant as before all of this had started. She hadn’t been actively avoiding him, but at the same time she hadn’t sought him out either.

Shrugging she set the magazine to the side, “It’s a big ship and I’m enjoying the peace and quiet.”

“Hmm.” James took a few more steps towards Ryder, while continuing, “Mind if we talk?”

“About…”

“How we got here.”

Anna shrugged while shifting her weight on the dyer, “I mean, that guy was a real jerk-face so I don’t blame you for punching him. I would’ve but you got there first.” 

James couldn’t help but smile at the comment, even if he couldn’t help but feel Ryder was skirting the answer. “Mind if I ask what the Commander wanted?” 

“Just had a few more questions for me about the incident.” When she finished talking, James had moved even closer but still kept space between them; if she stretched out her leg, he was just out of reach. It comforted her that even though they were screwing, he still wasn’t sure of her boundaries and wasn’t going to push it. “Don’t worry, it wasn’t about you.”

“Good to know.” James leaned back against the other washer, looking at Ryder who played nervously with the edge of her magazine. “So…”

“So…”

“I know that you’ve dealt with some shit on the station and I…” He trailed off blowing out a breath, not sure how to explain it. “If you don’t want to tell me that’s fine, but just know that I’m not going to judge you. For your past that is, everything else is fair game.”

Anna bit back a smile as she nodded, watching James push off the washer and walk back into the hallway before turning back to her magazine. But she quickly gave up on trying to read it, James’s words sticking in her mind. She wasn’t big on sharing, more than a few of her ex’s would say that she sucked at communication. James had just told her that if she didn’t want to share, then she didn’t have to. But at the same time a part of her felt like he was owed an explanation for everything that had happened.

“ _And I am trying to do things differently._ ” she told herself as the buzzer on the washer signaled that her laundry was done.

\--  
“Want to grab some take-out?”

James looked up from his omni-tool to see Ryder sticking her head through the door. It was their last full day on the Citadel and he was feeling rested and ready to get back into the fight; he thought he remembered Shepard talking about how they had to follow up on some leads about Cerberus as well as unraveling the whole ‘Leviathan’ thing. 

“ _Never a dull moment._ ” he thought while closing his omni-tool. “Sure. Anything in mind?”

“There’s this stall down by Chora’s Den, which has what I think is the best Asari-Asian fusion on the station. Not counting Ryuusei’s on the Strip.” Anna replied, silently glad that he’d accepted. This was her way of testing the waters, to see if they were still good even though this trip to the Citadel hadn’t been what either had planned. 

“That so?” his voice brought her back to the present and she nodded. “Then lead the way.”

The walkways were bustling so it took a bit longer to get there and back, and once they walked back onto the ship they headed back up to the observation lounge. 

“Damn Freckles, you were right. Best eggrolls I’ve had in awhile.” James said around a mouthful of food and smiled in response to Ryder’s.

“Right? I swear they’re better the next day.” Anna replied after finishing her own. “And I know something that’ll make this even better.” 

Getting up from the couch, she rounded the bar and felt along the seam until she found what she was looking for. Pressing against the panel, she removed it and reached in for one the bottles of ice brandy that she’d managed to get. Replacing the panel and securing it before standing back up, she grabbed two glasses and set them as well as the bottle next to James.

“Freckles, where do you keep getting these?”

“Would you believe me if I said it fell off the back of a shuttle?” Anna laughed, while opening the bottle and pouring them each a good measure. “But honestly...I still have a few, let’s call them ‘acquaintances’ that still owe me a few favors and one of them is keeping me stocked with good booze.” She took a sip and felt herself relax a little. “You’re not going to turn me into C-Sec now are you?”

“This can be our little secret. As long as I get a bottle next time we’re in port.”

“I can live with that.” Sitting back down in her chair, Anna fiddled with her chopsticks and debated if she should tell James about her past. She knew that he was aware of the broad strokes, she didn’t pretend that it didn’t exist, but at the same time she was trying to move on. Taking a breath she decided that if he wanted to be with her, even if it was just a shore leave fuck, then he better know the whole story.

Anna slammed back the rest of the brandy to gather her courage before she chickened out. “You know how Commander Shepard wanted to speak with me after she bailed us out?”

“Yeah.”

“When...I was with Ash, with the Reds that is, he didn’t just deal in red sand. You know how the Consort isn’t the only...companion on the Citadel?”

James nodded, it was an open secret that there were plenty of sex workers on the station. The Council denied it, but if you went to the right areas of certain wards you could see prostitutes.

“He...there were also girls.” Anna felt her face heat up slightly and focused her eyes on the window as she continued. “When...when I first arrived at the Citadel, it was really chaotic and everyone was trying to figure things out. Ash didn’t believe me when I said I was mainly protection routes and red sand runs. Said that I’d have to earn my spot like everyone else but until then…”

“You had to work with the girls.”

“It was either that or try to survive in the refugee camp. And I’d just gotten off Mars so I wasn’t willing to risk it in the camps. But you know me, I had to kick things up by pointing out that I could go to C-Sec and tell them about the whole operation he was running so Ash 'persuaded' me to keep my mouth shut and to do what he wanted me to. Which is how I got my lovely scar." Anna motioned to her face before continuing, "I got hauled in enough times on prostitution charges that I got to know the officers on a first name basis. That's why Rix was so chatty with me back in the C-Sec holding cells.”

James was silent, so much that Anna tore her eyes from the window to look at him, expecting him to be looking at her like she was disgusting, to say that their arraignment was off, that she didn’t deserve a second chance. She’d heard it before so why would this time be any different?

“Is that what the Commander spoke to you about?”

Anna nodded, “She wanted to know if what C-Sec said was true, that I had priors. I told her that it was but this time it wasn’t what it looked like. She believed me but said not to throw any more punches over it.”

“I’m not-” she broke off, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat. “I was honest about being clean; Ash might have forced me into sex work but from what I heard he was one of the better guys when it came to making sure we didn’t pick up anything from the clients. And I get it if you don’t want to continue this..thing we have.”

Once Anna had started to explain things, it wasn’t hard to come to the same conclusion but James listened as she talked. He had said that he wouldn’t judge her on what happened before she joined the Normandy and he was trying to keep his word, because it sounded like she had little choice in the matter. He also knew that she’d seen the situation for what it was and had tried to just survive.

“I’m glad that you felt comfortable enough to talk about it. Besides, why would I want to end this? As far as I can tell we’re having a good time with each other.” James said as he took Anna’s hand with his and gave it a squeeze. 

She hadn’t known that she’d been on the verge of crying until James told her that he accepted her and her past. Wiping the tears away with her free hand she let out a laugh, “Yeah, we do have a good time.” 

“Up to having some right now?” James lifted her hand to his lips and kissed a finger, slipping it into his mouth while gently nipping the skin with his teeth.

“With you? Always.”

Anna felt a jolt of excitement run through her as James crushed his lips against her, his hands going for her tank top. She felt his tongue run across her lips as the fabric pressed against her skin. Opening her mouth, she made a small noise when his fingers brushed against her nipples and she leaned closer towards him. Making herself end the kiss, she tried to regulate her breathing, even though she wanted nothing more than to jump him right then and there. “You have a condom?” she breathed out while brushing her forehead against his.

“No, do you?”

Anna shook her head, “I wasn’t planning on this to happen so...no. But we can still...without taking off our clothes. Well, you can’t.” 

James quirked an eyebrow at the thought of Ryder without any clothes on, but wanted it to at least be fair. “I’ve heard that it’s even sexier when both have clothes on.”

“Oh? Well I’m willing to give that a try.” Anna let James give her a slow kiss before slowly lowering her onto the couch. Smiling as they continued to kiss, she ground herself against him. 

“You’re doing that on purpose.” James groaned as Anna pressed herself against him, feeling himself get fully hard. 

“Maybe I am.” Anna replied with a light kiss on his nose before slowly trailing a hand down until it rested over his groin. Shifting slightly, she then began to move her hand slowly back and forth with just enough pressure to let him know what she was doing.

James bucked his hips when Anna started to touch him, opening his mouth to tell her that but she stopped him with a searing kiss. “Let me.” she whispered into his ear and he nodded his head. Closing his eyes as a wave of pleasure washed over him, James concentrated on the movements of her hand and as the movement increased, James felt his dick twitch in response. 

Letting out another groan, he slipped his hands underneath her tank top and pushed it up so he could access her breasts. “You’ve been holding out on me.” he teased when he saw that she wasn’t wearing a bra. “You did plan this.”

Anna paused her hand while shaking her head, “I swear I didn’t. I’m not wearing one because we’re on shore leave and no one else is around. I’m not going to put one on just for me.”

James had to admit that she had a valid point, but wasn’t going to tell her that. At least not yet. Instead he asked, “And what if I get you one? Would you wear that?”

Anna leaned up towards James, hovering shy of his lips. “If you want. And if it’s expensive and pretty enough.” she murmured before pulling back and with a playful glint in her eyes, resumed her movement. 

James moved his hips with her hand, their heavy breathing mixing together and his stomach tightened; feeling that he was on the edge of his release. But he couldn’t, not yet.

Grabbing her hand, he shook his head. “Not...not yet.” he managed to get out, his chest heaving up and down. “I want you screaming before I come.”

Anna wouldn’t deny that those words sent a thrill through her. Nodding her head, she let out a yell that morphed into a laugh as James grabbed her hips and flipped them so she was on top of him. She automatically wrapped her legs around his waist and closed her eyes as he pressed his erection against her core, letting out a gasp at how good it felt. 

Arching her back as James started kissing her neck, scraping his teeth against her skin, she let out a shaky breath when he leveraged himself up so he wasn’t squashing her and adjusted her rucked up tank top so it framed her breasts even more. Using one arm to grip the top of the couch for balance, he placed the other on her right breast and for a moment paused to look at her. 

During that moment, Anna wished they hadn’t met during the war; that it had been during any other time because when James looked at her...she felt seen. That she was more than her mistakes and last name and so many other things. She had never felt this way before and it was confusing, they were just friends with benefits, not anything that could turn serious. Then she was brought out of it by James giving her breast a firm squeeze and resuming his movement against her. Fingers danced across her skin and pinched her nipple, it hardening in response and she bit the edge of her lip. The space between her legs pulsed and as James moved onto the other breast, she wrapped a finger around a belt loop while lifting her hips with him as if they were actually having sex.

“Anytime, Freckles.” James grunted before running his tongue across the space between her breasts and smiled slightly at the noise she made in response. 

“Shut up.” Anna ground out, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing how crazy this was driving her. But her resolve went out the window when he sped up his movements and the friction increased.

She went for the button of her pants, sinking two fingers into her and letting out a sound that belonged in a Fornax vid when they brushed against her clit. Biting down on the inside of her mouth, she moved her fingers in time with James’s grinding and shuddered as the pressure built. A few more brushes and then she’s over the edge, James’s name escaping her lips in a yell, and she continued to move her fingers in and out to ride the waves of her climax. 

“This is going to sound cheesy, but that was hot.” James said when Anna opened her eyes and her breathing evened out. 

“Yeah...well, you’re not done yet.” Anna wasn’t sure how she managed to form a coherent sentence, but in her post-orgasam haze she was aware of James continuing to rub against her. His kisses on her neck turning into gentle but sharp bites and she hoped they wouldn’t be that visible; she didn’t have any makeup to cover up the bruises. 

That lasted a few more minutes before James gave one more thrust and stiffened against her. Crushing his lips against her, she could feel him spill himself into his boxers and kissed him through his release.

As their breathing evened out, Anna raised her head to meet James in a lingering kiss before asking, “Does this count as breaking our ‘only on the Citadel’ rule?”

James laughed while moving so Anna could climb off and sit next to him. “We’re still docked so I think our rule is safe.”

“Good to know.” Anna pulled her tank top down and ran a hand through her hair, more out of habit than to straighten it. “I...thanks for earlier.”

"I realize how hard talking about that can be and I'm glad that you trusted me with it." James replied as he stood and ran a hand across the back of his neck to get the kinks out. "I’m going to clean up, need anything?”

“Just the rest of the brandy.” Anna watched from her vantage point as James walked around the couch to pick up their takeout containers and get rid of them. As he handed her the bottle, she smiled in thanks and then she had the observation lounge to herself. 

Taking a sip, she stared out at the Citadel while trying to sort through her jumbled thoughts. She was fine with their relationship being purely physical, and he was easy on the eyes, but at the same time there was something in her that almost wanted more. 

“ _But I promised myself no strings, that I wasn’t going to end up like mom and Alec._ ” She thought, while taking another sip. “ _I don’t want to tie myself to another person only to realize that we can’t stand each other. Plus they’d probably want kids and there’s no way I’m passing on all my issues to someone else._ ”

Finishing off the rest of the bottle, Anna stood and headed towards the crew quarters to grab a fresh pair of underwear and pants before heading to the showers to clean up. Shore leave would be over by the end of the night-cycle here and then it was back to the war. Back to the routine and she could put all of this behind her.


	4. Skeletons in the Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vega tries to deal with a decision in the past while Ryder doesn't want to believe in ties her family might have.

Anna sprinted towards cover and went into a combat roll as she heard the Cerberus Centurion let out a yell. Landing behind the large boulder, she checked her spare clips and saw that she had one last heat sink left. Changing it out she popped up to see where the banshee had gone to, fortunately it had warped to the opposite side.

“ _Head’s up we got more grunts coming._ ”

“Fuck me.” she said, tired of the waves of the things. They only seemed to increase with each wave and she wanted to conserve what was left of her ammo for the heavy. 

Her partner laughed and said, “ _Just wait until tonight._ ” 

“You know how to make a girl feel special, Vega. I’ll go left and try to take out as many as I can without wasting ammo.”

“ _Copy that._ ”

Quickly storing her shotgun on its maglocks, she pulled out her combat knife and took a breath before charging into the fray. She knew that the Centurion had shields but the rest didn’t so she could save her disruptor ammo. She slashed at the dragoons while either pulling them close with her biotics or sending them scattering with a well-timed ground slam. She even managed to disarm one and use the pistol on a few others before it winked out of existence. As she fought, she could hear the roar of the arena crowd when one or both of them made an excellent move.

Soon the ground troops were dealt with and just the Centurion remained. Unclamping her shotgun, Anna checked to make sure it was properly loaded and started to run towards him. She was a few meters away when she caught movement out of her eye and Anna realized that it was an Atlas mech. 

“ _Shit, I forgot they’d popped up._ ” Anna thought as she detoured to cover as the mech turned its laser sight on her. 

Taking a breath, she hit her comm, “Take care of the Centurion while I distract the mech?”

“ _Sounds like a plan Freckles._ ”

Anna primed a frag grenade and threw it in the direction of the mech while loading her disruptor ammo. Seconds later she heard the sound of the grenade exploding and the ground gave a shake. She immediately followed up with her shotgun and was pleased to see the shield start to fizzle. By that time James had finished with the Centurion and joined in on trying to take down the mech.

Eventually the Area VI announced, “ _Match Over._ ”

Standing Anna took off her helmet and inhaled the non-filtered air as the cheers and whistles of the crowd reached her ears. Grinning, she slowly made her way towards Vega, “Not bad.”

“You did okay yourself.” James replied as he exchanged a fist bump with Ryder. They’d wanted to practice taking down Cerberus troopers because Commander Shepard had discovered a hideout and both wanted to be on the fire team. They figured the quick stopover at the Citadel would be a perfect opportunity to get some simulator time in. 

“Meet you outside.” Anna called over her shoulder as she headed towards the locker room. She didn’t really care about her score, she’d spent enough time in the area over the years to know that it was only because they wanted you to compete with others and spend their ‘reward credits’ in their store.

Taking off her armor she caught a glance of a bruise forming on her shoulder but wasn’t worried, it wasn’t anything that an ice pack couldn’t help. Throwing her street clothes back on, Anna grabbed her armor and told herself that she’d clean it later. “ _Much later._ ” she thought when she emerged from the locker room to find Vega waiting for her, wearing that black shirt she liked because it hugged his muscles in all the right ways and she could only think of pulling it off of him.

\--

_James stood at the console, the shouts of the colonists coming over the comms and a voice telling him that he had to choose between saving the information on the Collectors, something that would help the Alliance in protecting more colonies, or the surviving colonists on the Collector ship. Closing his eyes against the tears that were forming, he knew what he had to do._

“ _Vega!_ ”

“No!” James woke up with a start, confused as to where he was, the darkened room not helping his confusion. Something was around him and he had to get free. He had to make sure the information got to the Alliance. Twisting around he only entangled himself more and he fell off the bed, hitting the floor with a _thump_.

A light switched on and the room was bathed in a dim glow. Seeing the white ceiling James realized he wasn’t in the barracks. 

“James?”

The voice helped bring him back to his surroundings even more, and as he tried to get his breathing under control looked to see a pair of nicely tanned legs hesitantly appear. “Are you...are you okay?”

“Yeah.” James grunted, pulling himself into a sitting position to untangle his legs from the sheet. “Just had a bad dream is all.” He slightly grimaced, his shirt was soaked with sweat and mixing with the cold air wasn’t a pleasant feeling against his skin.

Anna felt like he was lying but didn’t know if she should push it. After the training they’d grabbed something to eat before heading back to the Commander’s apartment and intent on some good sex, but she was tired after the arena so they’d just called it a night. On the edge of exhaustion, she’d only woken up when James shouted and fell off the bed. This was the first time something like that had happened and she wasn’t sure what to do.

Managing to untangle his legs, James slowly got up and ran a hand through his already mussed hair. 

He needed to change his shirt and clear his head. 

Seeing Anna’s concerned expression he felt like he needed to reassure her, but at the same time wasn’t ready to share the whole thing. “I’m fine, really.” he said, slowly walking towards her and pressing a kiss to her head. “Just need to change my shirt.”

Anna nodded as he placed a hand on her arms in a reassuring gesture before leaving. She wanted to see if he was actually going towards the room he shared with Steve, although she didn’t know why he did since he just slept in her room, but knew that he needed his space as well. So she climbed back into bed and turned off the light. 

James felt better with a fresh shirt on but his mind wouldn’t settle down from the nightmare of Fehl Prime. So he silently made his way down to the main level of the apartment and raided the fridge for a beer. Sitting down in one of the couches, he turned on the giant TV on the wall across from him, hoping that the beer combined with whatever sports rerun that was on would help him finally relax. “ _Even if there hasn’t been any sports with the war on, it’s still nice to watch a game._ ” he thought while popping the top on the beer and taking a sip.

He settled on a rerun of a Seattle Mariners and Chicago Cubs game, when the Cubs won their tenth World Championship, and the monotone voices of the announcers helped to tease some of the tension in his shoulders. Settling back, James enjoyed hearing the _crack_ of the bat and the crowd cheering as the ball sailed out of the park and into the bay.

“Hey.”

James hadn’t realized that he'd been dozing until there was a hand on his shoulder and a voice reached his ear. Sitting up while opening his eyes, he realized that the baseball game had finished and the channel had started airing an old Vancouver Sharks game. Blinking, he glanced over and saw that it was Ryder who had woken him. “Ryder.” he mumbled, still somewhat groggy. That beer must have hit him more than he realized.

“You...you didn’t come back so I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Anna said, not sure if she was welcome to sit next to James. She’d fallen back asleep for a little while, but woke up to see that James hadn’t returned. Walking out onto the landing, she saw the glow of the screen and went to investigate.

“I’m fine.” He wasn’t completely lying, watching the game had helped, but at the same time knew that what he was doing wasn’t healthy by any means. It seemed like the nightmares wouldn’t go away and he’d always have them. But he wasn’t ready to share his tragic backstory with Ryder, while they were friends with benefits they weren’t _that_ good of friends. Normally it didn’t bother him this much, but he didn't know if the mounting pressure of the war and to pull out a win for everyone was finally starting to get to him, but it seemed to bother him more than normal.

“You want to talk about it?” Anna sank onto the leather couch, near James but still giving him space. “I mean, I know this is all casual but..if you need to talk about something I’m a good listener.”

James shook his head while standing, “Thanks but I’m good.”

Anna watched James head back up the stairs and waited until he was gone to turn off the TV and head back up herself. “ _You don’t do feelings, remember._ ” she scolded herself while going up the stairs herself. “ _Especially not with your commanding officer whom you’re having a shore leave fling with._ ”

\--  
Ryder hadn’t been this angry at Alec in awhile.

They had hit the Cerberus outpost but it seemed that the Illusive Man knew they were coming because it had been emptied, or rather no one was left alive. “ _And of course he showed up to rub that in the Commander’s face._ ” she bitterly thought while opening her locker to grab the athletic tape. She was off shift and needed to burn through the extra energy so she could hopefully sleep tonight. 

Quickly taping up her hands, she made her way to the make shift workout area in the hanger and grabbed a pair of gloves, slipping them on and then making her way to the punching bag. Doing a few stretches to warm up, she wondered if the man knew she’d be there. “ _He seemed to know me at a glance._ ” Anna gave the bag a few loose punches and tried to get the coversation out of her head.

_“Last time I saw you...well lets just say that you were younger.”_

_Anna tilted her head in confusion, not understanding what the man meant. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Shepard motioning to keep the Illusive Man talking, Liara’s decryption program was still running. “What makes you think that anyone in my family would work with someone like you?”_

Anna hit the bag harder, starting to feel the reverberations in her gloves. 

_The Illusive Man took a drag from his ever-present cigarette before casually answering, “How do you think your father paid for your mother’s treatment after he got kicked out of the Alliance? And that was certainly a comfortable hospice facility where she spent the rest of her time.”_

_Anna felt her stomach clench with the implication and wished that the man was actually there so she could punch him in his lying mouth. But she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing that he was getting under her skin. So she plastered on that fake smile that made everyone think she was just some dumb girl and replied, “What? Do you want me to insist that Alec Ryder would never get involved with a terrorist organization after leaving the Alliance? Sorry to disappoint, but he was an old man and could do whatever the fuck he wanted.”_

Anna swung her fist in a hook and gritted her teeth as the glove collided with the bag. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been at it, but it was long enough to start working up a sweat. The familiar buzzing in her neck told her that her biotics needed a release, but she pushed it down, feeling so frustrated that anything other than anger didn't feel better.

_The Illusive Man gave Ryder a tight smile, “I’m not talking about after he was kicked out of the Alliance. Do you think he came up with the idea for the AI by himself? He’s been with us for years.”_

_At that Anna really did freeze, letting the mask fall. But he had already finished with her, turning to face Shepard and taunt her with a few glib remarks. Then the hologram disappeared and EDI was on the public comm saying that the outpost was going to explode in five minutes._

Her rage at the memory finally boiling over, Anna slammed her fist into the bag as hard as she could and felt the rush of biotics flow out with the force of the punch. The bag ripped off its moorings and went flying, sliding halfway across the shuttle bay floor. Heart pounding in her chest, she was vaguely aware of the slight throbbing coming from her left hand. 

Loosening the velcro, she took off the gloves and was slightly startled to see red staining on and around the athletic tape. “ _Guess I didn’t wrap it tight enough._ ”

“I’m sure the bag had it coming.” 

“Yeah, it did.” Anna automatically replied while turning around and hiding her bloodstained hand behind her back. “It started talking shit so I had to prove it wrong.”

“Anything you want to talk about?” James folded his arms across his chest, torn between believing her and calling bullshit. He’d heard bits of the conversation between the fire team and The Illusive Man, he liked to listen to the public comms during missions so he knew what to expect equipment wise when they came back, and knew that Anna had no love for her father.

But her hands said otherwise.

Anna shook her head, “Nope, just getting some exercise before I get some rack time.”

“Well if you want to talk, you know where I sleep.”

Anna watched James turn to walk away and she was still in a mood so she blurted out, “Like how you talked to me when we were at the Citadel recently?” She knew it was a low blow, but she was still spoiling for a fight, falling back into old habits.

James stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around, giving Ryder a look. He saw the glint in her eye and figured that she was looking to take whatever issues she had out on someone. But he wasn’t going to rise to the bait. “Get your hand looked at Corporal. Then hit the rack.”

“So you can push me away, but I can’t?” Anna strode after James, careful to keep her voice down. They tried to be professional on the Normandy, no matter what the rumor mill was saying about them. Plus she didn’t want to be known as the girl who slept with her commanding officer. “Or is it different because we’re on the Normandy right now?”

“You’re looking for a fight right now and I’m not going to give it to you. See you next shift, Ryder.” 

Anna glared at James’s back before picking up the chains of the punching bag and dragging it back to where it was roughly. She then smartly marched towards the elevator but punched it for the crew quarters, not intending to get her hand looked at all.

\--  
It was well into third shift and James couldn’t sleep. 

Fehl Prime was bouncing around his head again and no amount of breathing exercises could quiet it. So he decided to get up and read some N7 training handbooks, hoping that that would be enough to settle his brain.

Stepping into the commissary, he hesitated slightly when he saw that he wasn’t the only one still up; Anna Ryder was sitting at one of the empty tables, mug of something in her hand and her own datapad. He noticed that her hand was still bandaged and wondered if she ever got it looked at. Then she looked up and upon seeing him, stiffened. Their argument, fight, whatever was still fresh in his mind as well but now that she’d seen him it was too late to back out. Giving her a slight nod, he set his datapads on the opposite table and sat down himself.

The hum of the mass effect engine wasn’t so loud here and the silence was welcomed. The handbook he picked was somewhat dry, covering the best mods for standard issue weaponry, but it was doing the trick and getting his brain to focus on something else. The jumbled up feeling was quieter and he was getting a fair amount of reading done. Eventually his eyes started to get tired after staring at a screen for so long and found he was rereading every other sentence. 

Hitting the bookmark and clicking off the screen, James stood and glanced to where he’d last seen Ryder. She’d ended up falling asleep at the table, face against the pad and hair falling to one side. Despite still being somewhat ticked off at her, he bit back a smile and walked over to her.

“Freckles.” he said while gently shaking her shoulder.

Anna felt someone jostling her awake. Sitting up, she realized she’d fallen asleep in the commissary and that James was the one waking her up. Blinking the sleep away, she feels her cheeks heat up in embarrassment; she didn’t want to be the first one to leave after seeing James walk in. “Sorry.” she mumbled, brushing a hand across her face and then through her hair to try and pat it down.

“It’s okay. Falling asleep here that is.” James took a step back while glancing at the clock on the wall. “Few more hours until first shift, see you then.”

“See you then, Lieutenant.” Anna nodded, knowing that they needed to talk but not wanting to back down. She was stubborn and that wasn’t about to change. 

The next day passed in a blur, both her and Vega speaking about what needed to be done work-wise and what was next; it looked like the Commander and the Normandy were needed on Tuchanka to sort out that mess. Anna lost herself in fixing, cleaning, and making sure Major Alenko and Liara’s weapons were ready for the squad rotation. 

She was closing the cage after putting away Major Alenko’s pistol when she spotted movement out of the corner of her eye. It was James and he was setting up the bar he used for pull-ups. Anna folded her arms and leaned against the metal doors as he did some arm stretches and started reps. Anna watched as he lifted himself up and down repeatedly, arms flexing and abs tensing in all the right ways. Feeling her face slightly heat up at watching him workout, Anna cleared her throat and straightened, realizing that she was being creepy. “ _We’re still on the Normandy and he’s my commanding officer._ ” she told herself while trying to slip towards the elevators unnoticed.

James did the last rep in the set and let himself drop to the floor. Grabbing a water bottle, he glanced up to see Ryder’s retreating figure. “Ryder.” he called out while grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat off his face.

Anna turned around and tried to keep her eyes on his face, “Lieutenant.” 

“No evening workout today?” 

“No, sir.” Anna shifted from one foot to the other before saying, “On the away mission...I heard some information about Alec that I guess I didn’t want to be true. Thought I could get my frustration out by punching things.”

“Thought?”

“Didn’t work as well as I planned. And it might have cost me one of the few friendships that I have on the ship.”

James shook his head, “I don’t think so. And...I can see where you’re coming from. Before I landed with the Commander there was a mission where I had...to make a hard choice. Feels like I made the wrong one no matter what anyone says.”

“And it just gets stuck in your head.”

“The information about your father, are you able to confirm it?”

“Maybe. If the right people look for the information, I’m sure they can.” She paused for a few seconds, before deciding to go ahead and ask, “And us?”

“Looking forwards to the next shore leave.” James gave her a wink as he turned around. “Unless you want to spot me with the next set of pull-ups. I know you like to spot me when you can.”

Anna suppressed a smile while falling into step behind Vega, “I think I can do that.”


End file.
